Vows

We, Beth & Annie, officiated wedding vows between all of our guests/
witnesses and the Sun. These vows were largely improvised.

Beth: Does anyone here object to the union between the people here and the SUN? Speak now or forever hold your peace.

(Mariko Passion does pepper spray performance.)

Annie: NOW WE ARE READY TO MAKE OUR VOWS. FOR THOSE
OF YOU WHO WOULD LIKE, PLEASE JOIN US. To call on the spirit
and energy of the sun, rub your top chakra, the top of your head. Feel the
suns rays coming into your body, penetrating your pours. What would we do
without our beloved Sun? Feel the Sun on your body…

Beth: There are three parts to the vows. Say “I do” after any of the vows
YOU choose to make and can keep.

Annie: Do you promise to love, honor and take pleasure with the Sun?

All: I DO!

Beth: Do you promise to use sunscreen?

All: I DO.

Annie: Do you promise to educate yourselves about global warming and
environmental issues?

All: I DO

Beth: To remember your vows each day you will have rings. May we have
the rings please? (Two young ring bearers give everyone a ring from a
white basket. Everyone puts on their rings.)

Beth and Annie: We now pronounce you married to the sun! You may now
kiss the sun! May you and the sun be happy forever.

(All kiss and hug.)

Beth and Annie: Now lets get back down to the Earth and all pleasure Bernal Hill, the planetary clitoris. You can lay on the ground, or stay standing and massage the hill with your feet. You can rub it with your hands, or simply exchange energies with it. Or just watch. (People pleasure the hill.)

Beth and Annie: Now lets spend a few moments basking in the afterglow.

(Silence)

Beth and Annie: Thank you all so much for coming. Let’s go get breakfast and coffee!